My news aggregators have been buzzing with alarming and alluring stats concerning life (and death, and dismemberment) in Colorado. Evidently, we live in the third most dangerous state in the Union. At the same time, we imperiled citizens also populate the fittest state. It’s not a coincidence, of course. As the prominent Colorado philosopher and competitive snowboarder Frederich Nietzsche once wrote: “That which doesn’t kill us makes us Coloradans.”
You could look at these Colorado perils as a reason to buy property in New Hampshire — the safest state in the country. Forget it! They call that skiing? More like Ice Capades! We simply need to put our Coloradoawesomeness to work as we outpace all the critters, roadways, cornices and financial trends threatening to drive us toward Colorado’s scary funeral homes. If that’s death, we need to choose life!
I propose these seven strategies to avoid our mile-high risks in Ecotopia.
Strategy No. 1: You’re not an apex predator, you’re an apex knucklehead. Act accordingly.
Strategy No. 2: Red Rocks ticket prices are scary. But that’s why God made general admission. Use your outdoor skills to occupy the cheap seats!
Strategy No. 3: Outrace the snopocalypse on your chosen snow device!
Strategy No. 4: Stick the landing with your next real estate transaction.
Strategy No. 5: Drive I-25 like Furiosa!
Strategy No. 6: If it’s too hot in the forest, jump in Grand Lake!
Strategy No. 7: Stay at your desk. According to yet another study, Colorado has the second safest workplaces in the nation!
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