Goldilocks is real you know.
She parlayed her childhood bear encounters into a killer admissions-essay for Colorado College, where she majored in environmental studies. Now she works as a data analyst for Colorado Parks and Wildlife, out of a loft in Golden.
Where else would you live, if you were named Goldilocks?
“These aren’t your average porridge-eaters,” she told me in an imaginary interview, her hair glowing in destructive June sunshine. “They’re turning up everywhere!”
In hot tubs. In window wells. In dumpsters. Even in columns by cartoonists.
As the end of last month, CPW officials have noted 1,192 bear encounters in the state—compared with about a thousand up to the same point last year.
Now they’re ranging widely in cities and suburbs, looking to replace drought-threatened food supplies. And to a bear, your place is King Soopers.
Accordingly, you must now watch for bears…
At your breakfast table
In your hot tub
In disguise
In Rocky Mountain National Park
At your understaffed preschool
Seeking new mating partners
