Don’t get me wrong. I love going to concerts at Red Rocks! I love it so much, I even have a secret parking strategy. And no, I’m not telling you what it is. Who needs the competition? But I am willing to share some basic intel about how to navigate the second best-attended concert venue in the U.S. (Screw you, Madison Square Garden! And the Knicks, too!)
Clearly, Red Rocks is a world-beater. It’s just the concertgoers who have challenges.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 1
Finding your peeps in seating meant just for you. (Auxiliary challenge: Affording those tickets.)
Red Rocks Challenge No. 2
The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. At Red Rocks, however, it bends up many flights of stairs.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 3
Breathing.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 4
Snacks. They pay Sherpas a lot to hump food up there.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 4.5
Chewing the scenery.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 5
Complying with local ordinances.
Red Rocks Challenge No. 6
Ignoring all that. Despite the ticket prices, the cost of food and drink, the location (Morrison, really?), the strenuous hikes from the parking lots, second-hand smoke from joints, the odd hailstorm, the inevitable pre- and post-concert jams on Interstate 70 and, OMG, those far-distant restrooms, Red Rocks remains a magical venue. Especially as the sun sets and the performers, and the city, and the moon and stars, for heaven’s sake, begin to shine brightly.
OK! OK! I’ll hit Big Red again this summer! Anybody have spare tickets for James Taylor, on June 14?