Pro skier Drew Petersen cloaked his depression with epic descents and runs. Now he’s helping others by talking about mental health.

BRECKENRIDGE — The Summit High School auditorium is dark when these words crawl across the screen: “While you are watching this film, three people will be die by suicide in the U.S. alone. This film will help change that.”

“Feel It All,” by professional skier Drew Petersen, aims big, with the goal of exposing the dark corners of mental illness that haunt mountain communities. In late May the Colorado-born athlete debuted his newest movie at Summit High, where he graduated No. 2 in his class in 2012.

Using clips of the lifelong skier carving down Sawatch Range peaks and running the grueling Leadville Trail 100 in less than 24 hours, Petersen weaves a story that illuminates what many are calling the paradox of paradise.

“How is it that we can feel so alone when we live in this paradise?” he asks the crowd of about 300 in the packed auditorium. 

Petersen knows that isolation. He was around 9, in fourth grade, when he first thought of killing himself. As a teenager, with sponsors paying him to ski, he was winning big mountain contests and landing on magazine covers. He talks about climbing remote peaks and, at the summit, pondering a leap to his death.

“I had a lot going on in my life. I was hiding a lot from the world,” he said. “I was sure I was the only one in the whole world who felt the way I did.”

In 2022, when more than 48,000 Americans died by suicide, 1,384 Colorado residents ended their lives. Colorado ranks sixth in the nation for suicide deaths, behind Wyoming, Montana, Alaska, New Mexico and South Dakota. 

The mountain communities in the Rocky Mountain states have earned the grim moniker of “suicide belt,” with suicide rates far exceeding national numbers. In a three-week span after the onset of the pandemic in the spring of 2020, two students from Summit High School took their own lives and two others attempted suicide.

“I saw myself as those kids. I saw myself when I was walking these halls when I felt so low despite my academic success, my success on skis. I saw how that so easily could have been my outcome,” Petersen said with a sob. “And I knew, in that moment — 100% hard stop, no questions asked — I was going to get myself to a place where I can help those kids. The reality is that this happens in mountain towns all across the West.”

Petersen clicks over to slide showing him and his brother skiing Silver Couloir off Buffalo Mountain, a short hike from their childhood home in Silverthorne. 

“We grew up with everything so wonderful about being in Summit County and the ski culture. We also grew up with the other realities. My story is the story of our community. The reality is we do live in paradise. But we can also have a paradoxical experience – that we can struggle. When we only focus on the fact that we live in paradise, it invalidates that experience that can also be stressful.”

So now, for the last three years, Petersen has been on a mission to share his story and tear down the stigma surrounding mental illness. 

“The solution starts with talking about it,” he said. 

Petersen estimates in the last three years of advocating, he has reached somewhere close to 500,000 people who have seen his presentations as well as read magazine articles and heard podcasts where he describes his mental health journey. 

“If we make honoring and prioritizing mental health a core part of our mountain town cultures, then lives will be saved and our communities will thrive,” he said. 

He has gone through years of therapy to expose defense mechanisms that hid his depression. One of those defense mechanisms was skiing and running. Another was drinking. These are core components of the mountain town culture, where outdoor athletes play hard and live hard.

Petersen is quick to identify how skiing can be a crutch that conceals underlying mental health challenges. Don’t let skiing or outdoor athleticism replace the need for therapy, he said. Don’t let outdoor recreation be your only coping mechanism for mental health challenges that may need more, like medication or therapy.

Dylan Stein moved to Summit County in 2021 with a plan to ski as much as possible. Maybe then he could beat back the depression that would occasionally engulf him. 

“I have been in that position of using skiing as a crutch,” Stein said. 

Now, Stein is the community outreach coordinator for Building Hope Summit County, helping residents connect with mental health resources. He’s worked with Petersen to tear down the walls that prevent people from visiting with therapists and discussing mental health struggles. 

“I like to say that Drew has been to the mountaintop. He’s been on magazine covers. He’s traveled  the world to ski. He’s lived every skier’s dream. But even then, he had these thoughts of suicide and depression,” Stein said. “It shows that skiing and stuff like that does not cure your mental health challenges. Outdoor activity can be one piece of the puzzle, but it’s only one coping mechanism that needs to include therapy, diet, exercise and all the other tools available.”Petersen last week wrapped up a crowdfunding campaign that raised more than $40,000 to support “Feel It All.” Check it out here.