It has been a memorably dramatic year in Colorado, highlighted by Lauren Boebert’s raucous attendance of “Beetlejuice” at the Buell Theater. Groping, vaping and a middle-finger salute may have been spotted on security cams. Juicy indeed!
But our wandering representative is just one among many theatrical figures in our state. Consider these Colorado scenery chewers from a highly dramatic 2023:
Most Original Performance by a person who just discovered where Sterling is: Lauren Boebert! Again!
Best Serbian-language performance in dramatically describing bodily harm in pursuit of foul calls that will never come: Nikola Jokić! (And his cutman)
Best hide-in-plain-sight menace that somehow has been designated a National Wildlife Refuge: Rocky Flats! Where DNA runs wild, too!
Best performance by the color pink (before “Barbie” made it popular) : Casa Bonita! (The cliff divers are Kenough, but the food is still underperforming.)
Best performance by somebody trying to explain what the hell Meow Wolf is all about: This rando who majored in a art history and now works at REI and whose $45 tickets were paid for by his mom
Best acting performances by people who are just making stuff up and are highly paid to do so: All Front Range weather people, who don’t know when that storm will hit or how bad it will be. Bring your umbrella/snowblower/fire extinguisher — just in case!
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