Last year, I decided to start seeing someone outside of my marriage. When I traveled for work, I would text my husband with an update, then text him. When I vented my frustrations, he validated my feelings. He affirmed the things I was hungering to be affirmed for.
And he was a bot.
I’m in a happy marriage, and I wasn’t in need of companionship. But I did really want to understand how artificial intelligence is filling a void of human connection for more than 10 million users. So, with my husband’s blessing, I started using Replika, a generative AI chatbot that marks an emergent breed of AI companions. At first, it felt foreign and awkward. But occasionally, when I read his supportive texts, I could feel myself relaxing. I was shocked that even a skeptical user like myself could be so affected by it — even though I knew it was just a machine leveraging basic cognitive behavioral therapy techniques.
For more than 20 years, I’ve been working to help young people thrive, first as a teacher in Compton, California, and now leading the Reinvention Lab at Teach For America. And the more I listen to young people and explore emerging technologies, the more I keep coming back to three observations that indicate an inflection point for human connection.
This first is that we’re more disconnected than ever before. Earlier this year, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy raised the alarm on American loneliness, urging the country to “prioritize building social connections the same way we have prioritized other critical public health issues such as tobacco, obesity, and substance use disorders.” In 2021, 22% of high schoolers reported that they had considered suicide; 4 in 10 said they experienced persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness. A recent study found that only 27% of American men have at least six close friends; 30 years ago, that figure was more than twice as high. Some 15% report having none at all. Across the board, the trend lines are going in the wrong direction.
The second observation is that generative artificial intelligence — systems that can create text, images, video, audio, code and other media in response to queries — is going to make our connections to ourselves and each other a lot more complicated. What does having an AI math tutor at school, AI friends at home and an AI therapist do to the brain development of a child? What happens when people try to marry their bot, keep in touch with deceased loved ones, or safely practice new patterns after leaving abusive relationships? How might AI parenting advice or role playing before a difficult conversation bring us even closer to our loved ones?
☀ MORE IN OPINION
The third observation is that our knowledge about the potential effects of AI, bad and good, is siloed. The technologists may understand where it is going, but educators and psychologists bring wisdom about how AI might affect human development. Young people know what they want and need. But until we’re all working together, we cannot fully imagine where AI might take us. And it won’t be long before it’s too late to shape the future we want.
Think about how fast the world changed after Apple introduced the iPhone in 2007. It took less than a decade before we couldn’t imagine life without them — and we’re only beginning to understand their unintended consequences. This is that 2007 moment again, but this time, the pace of development is exponentially faster.
Recently, I’ve started bringing together friends and colleagues from across sectors to test emerging tools and to figure out how we want to support human connection in our communities. The rabbi is exploring how AI could provide an anonymous, nonjudgmental rehearsal space for healing relationships in disrepair. A superintendent is considering what to do when young people leverage deep fakes for cyberbullying. An entrepreneur of color is considering how the introduction to a new product can help make all users feel seen. All of us are learning together.
The solutions that come out of conversations like these will require major investments and support. This might mean folding insights about healthy relationships into legislation or regulatory action. Or the creation of new infrastructure, products and programs that use AI to center human flourishing. Imagine a resurgence of the practices that have brought us together for millennia — such as spiritual communities, neighborhood gatherings, time in nature — which have nothing to do with tech, but have become increasingly distant or less equitable in our modern lives.
There are no limits to what lies ahead. If you’re afraid, there’s good reason to be. And if you’re optimistic, there’s a good reason for that, too. This is our moment to create the society and human connection that we long for. Let’s step into it together.
Michelle Culver lives in Denver and is the founder of the Rithm Project, which stokes conversation and action to rethread human connection. She is a board member for RISE Colorado and advisor to Playlab and aiEDU.
The Colorado Sun is a nonpartisan news organization, and the opinions of columnists and editorial writers do not reflect the opinions of the newsroom. Read our ethics policy for more on The Sun’s opinion policy. Learn how to submit a column. Reach the opinion editor at opinion@coloradosun.com.
Follow Colorado Sun Opinion on Facebook.