Redistricting can be fun!
A group called Coloradans for a Level Playing Field thinks so, at least, as they try to pause the process enshrined in the state Constitution and redraw voting districts to favor Democrats. They’re doing that after right-leaning groups heeded the president’s call to redraw lines in favor of Republicans. Tit, meet tat.
All that line drawing is a provocation to a cartoonist like me: Lines are my prerogative. Which I’m exercising here.
Before putting pen to map, I did a little research. Voting-line shenanigans acquired the name “gerrymandering” in 1812, when Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry fashioned a salamander-shaped district to advance his political career. Gerry + Mander = a big headache for Democracy.
And Colorado may in fact have difficulty pulling it off. The Western tiger salamander is our only indigenous salamander. It’s very handsome, but perhaps not widespread enough to bring about real change at the voting booth.
Fortunately Colorado is rich in 19 indigenous lizards. They provide many opportunities for new districts.
But why stop there? Once you try your hand at creating cool voting districts, all sorts of possibilities crop up.
The psychology districts
In an era when people are booking counseling sessions to deal with political upset, perhaps an ink blot would help?
The wanderer districts
Colorado’s charismatic carnivores are on the move, so let’s make it easier for them to vote as they prowl the state.
The vacant house district.
Even if your mansion is empty 50 weeks every year, you should still have a voice.
The “recalculating district”
The Founding Fathers couldn’t have envisioned Interstate 70. But we know it all too well. I once spent an entire Oscars telecast stuck west of the Eisenhower tunnel, getting later and later for a watch-party in Denver. I may still be waiting there, for all I know. Upside: Plenty of time to research the issues.
The rattle your jewelry district
The rich are different from you and I. They live in Douglas County. That’s where 377,000 people earn an average income of $183,000 per annum, so they’re obviously very busy. The chauffeur could cast votes on their behalf, while they’re at the mall.
The “Bro!” district
Tech bros and ski bums are the same person, just on different timelines. So let’s unite their voices with a call of “let’s vote, dude!”
The not from around here district
Is anybody actually from around here? Let’s open up the ballot boxes to the 95 million tourists — American and international — who visit us every year. These generous folks spend $2.85 billion dollars before they head back to Denver International Airport. They can send in their absentee ballots from wherever they land.
Is all this making you nervous? Check in with Secretary of State Jena Griswold, to make sure you’re still on somebody’s map.